Excuse Me?

Before you read this you are required to watch the video above. WARNING: this is real.

This is an actual music video by The Nelons shown in my department meeting of where I work. I started to laugh at the beginning because I honestly thought it was a joke. Nobody else was laughing around me, so I had to suffer through all of the spoof ideas that I had for 4 minutes. Talk about torture. Immediately after my meeting, I went to my friend’s office to show him the video because I knew he would get it, and I desperately needed someone to laugh with me. Just as expected, he laughed just as hard as me, and not only that, but, within seconds, he sent the video department wide.

I must preface what I’m about to say by saying that I am a Christian. We’re going to break this song down like scripture. Calm down conservatives, it’s not going to be that bad…for liberals.

I was racing through the airport to make an early flight;

I wanted to get home to see my children and my wife.

In the first two lines of Lee Greenwood’s I’m Proud to be an American he says, “If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life, And I had to start again with just my children and my wife.” It’s in the same key and same rhythm. Just like that, we got a lawsuit on our hands.

I rushed around the corner – an apple stand was there,

Until I knocked it over. The fruit went everywhere!

If you’ve read my blog, you know that I traveling is a hobby of mine. I have been in airports all over the world, and have yet to see a farmer’s market.

At first I kept on going – I just couldn’t miss that plane –

I looked over my shoulder, not stopping to explain –

What a dick.

A girl was down there on her knees - groping ‘round to find,

You know, I expected this lyric from Lil Wayne, but not from you Nelons!

The apples scattered on the floor – then I saw the girl was blind.

It just got real.

As my plane was leaving, I stopped to lend a hand.

I picked up all the apples, restored the apple stand;

To replace the bruised and broken, in her fingers pressed some bills

As I hugged her narrow shoulders, she reached to hold me still…
And said…

Excuse me, are you Jesus?

Is that why you were so kind?

Excuse me, are you Jesus

To have had me on your mind?

You picked up all the pieces,

The bruised and broken parts;

You put me back in business;

You were Jesus to my heart…

Let’s recap. Guy is walking through the airport. Guy’s clumsiness leads him to knock over apples at the farmer’s market in the airport. Guy was just going to let the workers there clean it up. Guy sees one of the workers cleaning them up. Something tells guy that he should clean up the apples he knocked over. Guy sees that the worker is blind. Guy pays for the apples that he bruised. Guy gets compared to Jesus Christ.

There are many differences between this man and Jesus Christ. For starters, I never imagined Jesus being clumsy. If anything Jesus might have knocked over a single apple, but would have the awareness to kick it with his Achilles tendon over his shoulder right in his hand. The guy is calling himself Jesus for putting out the fire he started. Now if the guy wouldn’t have knocked over the apples, and the blind girl just decided to pick one of the apples from the basket and hurl one right in his piehole, and the man still gave her cash, then I would probably be asking this man to turn my water into wine.

Bridge - Once I was bruised and broken, blind and groping on my way,

When Someone stopped to help me, paid the damage, made me say…

…aaaaayyyyy (drums) And I’m proud to be an A-Mer-I-Can!