Dennis Garrity > Dwayne Wade

Well guys, Hallmark got us once again. Today is the 103^rd annual Father’s Day. Now am I one of those guys that is gung ho about Father’s Day? No. Am I one that completely boycotts Father’s Day to prove a point? No. I would rather grill out his favorite food or take him to a sweet sporting event. That’s how I would want to express my thankfulness to my father, so take that Hallmark, and you’re welcome Walmart. My father is the best father a man could ask for. That’s right. He’s the best. Other notable fathers include Dan Nohe, Albert Nohe, Jeff West, Jeff Butcher, and Dwayne Wade. Why Dwayne Wade? I don’t know, have you seen the Dove commercial he’s in? His kids love him, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned in 23 years it’s that you should always believe what’s on television. 

Who is Dennis Garrity? Well, he’s a 6 foot Macedonian that clings to Proverbs 16:31. Now if there’s one thing that I respect the most about my father it’s his consistency. Let me explain. My dad made me a milkshake every night for 9 years. Now has this contributed to the fact that I’m lactose intolerant?  Maybe, but that man slaved over a blender for 9 years more than I ever want to. Also, in my elementary days, my dad and I watched an episode of Walker Texas Ranger every Saturday night, and we didn’t have Netflix or DVR so it took commitment. Finally, my dad has been an Elvis impersonator for 36 years. Oh, you think that’s funny? He does it for mentally-handicapped children every Thursday right before Christmas to avoid them from having a “Blue Christmas.” You feel good about almost making fun of my father now? Probably not. Anyways, this man still works the Elvis Pelvis at the age of 62.

My dad, also, is cool. Not “Josh’s dad lets us do whatever we want” type of cool. He can just carry on a conversation with anyone of any age. It’s actually incredible. Once when talking to my friend about how there’s no stranger to my father, my dad came out of the public restroom talking to a man that he’s never seen or met in his life. Now my instinct tells me that when you’re in a restroom look straight ahead and by no means make any sort of eye contact, but somehow he does it and the weirdest part is that it’s normal. He’s also cool in the sense that his ear for music is still alive and kickin’. I just showed my dad a Macklemore song that gave him goosebumps. Also, he has cool sayings that he says to my friends that I could never pull off like, “Plant ya now and dig ya later,” “Easy greasy, you got a long way to slide,” “or my personal favorite, “[Insert Name], the woman’s pet and the man’s threat.” 

Finally, my dad has a sense of humor that can’t be paralleled. I’ll end with this story. A couple of years ago, my mom, dad, sister, and I went to a retirement party for one of my dad’s close friends. I know, I had no idea a retirement party existed either, but there was so much food that I spent most of the time at the party planning my own in the next 40 years. Anyways, there were about 200 people there. Out of the 200, 196 were black. So, we’re sitting there eating dinner and dad’s friend has the microphone and is acknowledging everybody that has played a role in his life. Finally, he gets to the end of his speech and he asks his brothers and sisters to stand up. I’m looking around to find his brothers and sister and all of a sudden I hear everyone busting out laughing. Keep in mind, only white family there, my dad was standing up with a stone cold look on his face. I thought to myself, “Dagonnet, he’s done it again.”

So yeah, my dad may not have a Dove commercial, but he has been a better father than what I could even ask for. I hope that I can use what he’s taught me with children of my own one day. Love ya dad. 

Josh